Travel Oops: Just Trespassin’ Through

Posted on July 19, 2013 by sglaser

Our unapproved tent behind the pergola on private property near Dominguez Canon, Colorado

Our unapproved tent behind the pergola on private property near Dominguez Canyon, Colorado

July 14, 2013 — near Dominguez Canyon, CO, USA

At seven in the morning, my husband Kurt unzips our tent door from the inside. Through the open flap and the a.m. mist, we see a balding man in shorts and a ragged T-shirt approach with a dog.

“I guess you didn’t see my no trespassing sign over there,” he states matter-of-factly.

Our raft secured to the pergola.

The owner of the private land on which we had just tented without permission, Ewell, stands just outside our “illegal” nylon shelter. Kurt and I expected a scenario like this but we still aren’t ready for it.

“We are so sorry,” I begin to apologize and Kurt gets out the tent.

“We were trying to meet up with our friends in Dominguez Canyon,” Kurt explains. “And we misjudged how long it would take and we ended up rafting in the dark and we heard rapids, and we pulled over here.”

“We have kids,” I blurt out.

Eddie and Kasey being licked by Odie.

Ewell surveys the scene.

“So, basically, you guys were in trouble,” he says and then comes closer to the tent.

“Let me see these kids,” he moves the unzipped flap over and his labrador bounds through, tackling my son Eddie and licking him and my daughter Kasey all over.

“That’s Odie,” Ewell says. “And he won’t hurt you.”

Leave it kids and a dog to break the ice.

And we needed to break the ice since we were completely staked out on this guy’s property, which turned out to be an orchard next to the Gunnison River.

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Signs of the Times: Hey, Audrey — Cut that Crumpet with a Chainsaw!

Posted on July 12, 2013 by sglaser

Audrey is good with a chainsaw and good with the troops.

All I have to say is that Audrey must be pretty badass. After teaching To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee for 10 years and having an annual “Boo Radley Day” where my students and I carve Ivory soap sculptures with plastic knives, I can only imagine what it must be like to whittle wood with a friggin’ chainsaw.

Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”

Not to mention that one just doesn’t expect a chainsaw wielding woman to necessarily be named Audrey. I keep thinking Audrey Hepburn and cutting a crumpet for breakfast with a chainsaw at Tiffany’s just seems a bit off.

By the way, I’m not saying Chainsaw Audrey isn’t as elegant as Audrey Hepburn.

At any rate, Chainsaw Audrey is darn impressive with her creations.

Audrey’s chainsaw offerings in Cañon City, CO

Stop by the next time you are just outside Cañon City, CO

Signs of the Times: At a loss for words….

Posted on June 28, 2013 by sglaser

These “clouds” or “thought bubbles” are stationed along the exit of Denver International Airport in Colorado, USA. These have the potential to be really cool signs and make people think about….SOMETHING. But they are blank. Empty. Random.

The State of Colorado or City of Denver could easily use them as marketing tools. For example: Cloud #1: It may be really flat right here… Cloud #2: But just wait…Cloud #3: We do have mountains, seriously.”

Searching for a Dashboard Deity

Posted on June 25, 2013 by sglaser

My Vegas Ganesha bringing me good luck on the road.

Toronto, Canada. 2013. Standing next to a large bronze, meditating statue of Shiva, the Destroyer, Maharani Emporium owner Rupert Lalla, tugs at a gold chain around his neck. He pulls the attached gold figure up from beneath his green plaid shirt. Bringing it forward so I can see it more closely, he reveals a tiny figure with an elephant head, human body and four arms in various positions — Ganesha.

I take this as a good sign since I’ve been grilling Rupert in his Toronto shop about this Hindu god and why Indians choose him for their cars as the preferred dashboard deity.

A bit about Ganesha

Totally fitting as a dashboard deity, Ganesha is the Hindu god of protection, wisdom and remover of obstacles. He also is the son of the god of destruction and recreation, Shiva, and the Hindu goddess of power, Parvati. Often called the easiest god to worship, Ganesha, according to Hindu belief, accepts any devotee’s prayers — whether formal or informal. Embracing Ganesha as their god of choice, residents of Mumbai hold Ganesh Chaturthi, an eleven-day festival solely devoted to the elephant-headed god.

A Ganesha statue outside a jungle elephant preserve. The electric green moss transfixed me.

In 2010, during a trip to Bali, I noticed that Ganesha was everywhere on the “Island of the Gods,” since the Balinese place him near entrances of buildings and temples. Stationed in the parking lot of an elephant preserve in the jungle, appropriately, was a large moss speckled volcanic Ganesha sculpture complete with a jewel-encrusted headdress. The contrast of the dark rock and the electric green moss on the statue all against the backdrop of the dense, vibrant jungle captivated me.

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Signs of the Times: “Look, Here’s the Deal, Dumb Drivers…”

Posted on June 9, 2013 by sglaser

Highway 285, Colorado, USA. There must be a point when sign writers (especially traffic sign writers) get tired of stating the same message over and over and having drivers ignore the advice. That’s why the sign above is particularly funny. It’s got voice and attitude. Here are the signs that lead up to this flashing beauty.

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Travel Oops: Drinks are on me! (But can you give me your cash?)

Posted on June 6, 2013 by sglaser

Steph’s note: Because I’ve been in Toronto, Canada, at a conference (Travel Blog Exchange — TBEX) and gathering some material for Travel Oops and some other assignments, I’ve been a bit MIA on WordPress. However, I do have a short Oops to share.

Toronto, Canada. May 2013.

Pueblo Bank and Trust was ON IT. I found this out Friday, May 31, as I tried to withdraw funds from an ATM in Toronto, Canada. I got the same message over and over. Your financial institution will not allocate funds at this time (or something to this effect.)

I had forgotten to call PB&T to let them know I was traveling internationally. It’s funny how, in February, the bank couldn’t care less when I took out cash via an ATM in Las Vegas, the city of vices including compulsive gambling with ATM funds. Thankfully, Capital One knew since I remembered to alert them about my trip to Canada.

It was time to see if one could live off $45 of exchanged cash for three days in Toronto since PB&T is closed on Saturdays and Sundays and has no 24-hour hotline to call. Essentially, it turns out the situation was not too dire since you can pay for pretty much everything with a credit card. However, still unsure about Toronto transactions, I discovered another easy solution: buy items (for example, alcoholic beverages at The Fifth Social Club) with your credit card for other conference goers who have cash with which to pay you back.

Travel Oops: Souvenirs are Forever (unless you leave them in the airport)

Posted on May 30, 2013 by sglaser

The Air New Zealand ticket agent secured neon green “heavy” tags to half of our eight checked bags. Kurt, Kasey, Eddie and I also had two carry-ons each. We had maxed out the luggage allotment. Kurt also carried a commando poster that came straight from the Bondi Beach Pavillion in Sydney.

With no protective tube — just a rubber band — the poster was the final souvenir I purchased in Australia. Somehow I had convinced Kurt that we must have it and that he could easily carry it on the four flights that would get us from Sydney to Denver in the US.

“Because you guys bought your return tickets in 2009,” the ticket agent explained to us, “you are still eligible for the two free checked bags per person.” He held one end of a long trail of baggage claim tickets that continued to print. “The policy was just changed in July, allowing passengers only one free checked bag,” he added with a look like “Damn, you REALLY lucked out.” Indeed we were very lucky since we weren’t charged a cent for baggage.

He heaved the bags onto the conveyor belt. I really wanted him to ask me something like, “Wow, what’ve you got in here? Rocks?”

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Signs of the Times: Don’t Go Disco at Disneyland

Posted on May 27, 2013 by sglaser

Disneyland, Anaheim, CA, USA. Disneyland officials posted this inside the boat you ride into “A Small World.” It’s a good thing, because that song is catchy when you hear it played over and over and over; you may be tempted to do “The Hustle” or “The Macarena.” I’m wondering, however, if the passengers in this “don’t” sign are really trying to bust out and escape rather than bust a move.

Priceless Products and Packaging: Bubble & B

Posted on May 25, 2013 by sglaser

Seoul Market, Colorado Springs, CO USA. l am completely fascinated by “Bubble & B,” which turns out to be a foaming hair coloring kit from Korea. I asked Seoul Market’s shopkeeper if I could take a photo of the product and she said “Sure!” and got it down from the counter and placed it close to me. As I mentioned in an earlier post about visiting this same market, I thought it was shampoo and it reminded me of the Denorex commercial when people test the lather of Denorex against another shampoo directly on their heads. Classic.

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Travel Oops: “I’m sorry, she’s left the country.”

Posted on May 22, 2013 by sglaser

Two things you automatically have going for you when you’re a foreign exchange teacher and things go wrong:

1. You are foreign and your manner is often chalked up as being an unfortunate result of your nationality.

2. Eventually you will leave the country.

Ultimately you can get away with being strange or a little bit crazy. Even better, if it’s necessary, the excuse that you’ve moved to another country can legitimately be used.

I suggested that my principal use that very excuse on my behalf the next time Gertrude Brown called to demand I give her $1,000. In two weeks, I would be returning to the United States after one year of teaching in Adelaide, South Australia. So, indeed, I was leaving the country. Maybe that knowledge would finally shut Trudy up.

Early in the 2010 academic year, I had confiscated her son Trent’s mobile phone after he took it out during class to text and show it off to his classmates.

When Trent, who was a whinger to begin with, argued that I had no right to take his phone, Mitchell, the class clown, piped up, “You know she told us we can’t use mobiles in class, Trent.” Ignoring that Mitchell next leaned back in his seat and placed his feet up on the table, I stood in front of Trent with my arm extended, palm upright.

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