Signs of the Times: “Leave your fancy footwear behind — oh, and your feet, too.”

Posted on May 19, 2013 by sglaser

Yangon, Myanmar. I love this sign, and it’s actually pretty famous in terms of funny mistranslations from around the world. Good family friends visited Burma earlier this year and took this photo. I’ve since seen it in Lonely Planet’s Signspotting and other blogs. I think it goes particularly well with the photo below.

McDonald’s, Colorado Springs, CO, USA. This completely cracked me up. I can’t imagine running in heels after toddlers in the first place. In fact, I only started wearing wedge sandals and heels occasionally when with my kids about one year ago (and only on completely sturdy surfaces.) Being a geeky English teacher, I also noticed that an unnecessary apostrophe appears with Moms. The poor apostrophe — it’s so misused. However, that’s a different post.

Signs of the Times — Please and thank you kindly, Pain-In-The-Butt People!

Posted on May 11, 2013 by sglaser

©Stephanie Glaser 2013

So many signs are straightforward, indifferent and lack personality. The following messages are actually quite polite and even include script writing or a fancy insignia (above at the Mandalay Bay, Las Vegas). However, there’s just a slight edge in the voice that borders on sarcasm — a sort of yes, we must be polite to you imbeciles. Or I could just be reading way too much into these signs. It’s entirely possible since I just spent the last ten years teaching high school literature.

East Bentleigh, Victoria, Australia. I can just hear what the sign maker of this Coles store really wants to write with this one: okay, hooligans, no joyriding, no racing or using as a moving van.

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Travel Oops: Supersize Me with Some Kim Chee, Please!

Posted on May 7, 2013 by sglaser

Wandering through Seoul Market’s seaweed section, which is just as expansive and visually overloading as the cereal aisle of any Wal-Mart, I’m overwhelmed. Seaweed comes in jars, plastic bags, foil bags, freeze-dried bags, individually wrapped snack packs and family sized jumbo bags.

Seaweed snack packs — notice how I stacked on upside down. Oops….

Seaweed that looks like kelp looms large in a long baguette like bag, and then there’s red seaweed, green seaweed, roasted seaweed, rectangular seaweed and small square seaweed. Asian writing appears on every bag, and although I can’t read the characters, it’s clear from their differing shapes that they identify seaweeds from not only Korea, but probably from Japan and China, too.

Clearly I’m a complete amateur Asian market shopper even in the US. Maybe trying another aisle will be less intense. The noodle shelves are no different: udon, soba, somen, bean thread cellophane, rice, wheat, thick, curly, transparent. Really, what should I expect? Roaming through the noodle section of a standard American grocery store could be mind blowing for someone who is not familiar with Italian pasta.

I had been so confident before entering the Colorado Springs store. After all, I had seen Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” episode in Korea where he samples fermented kim chee from recently unearthed clay urns. I eat Asian food whenever I can, but I guess I’ve not seen it much in the pre-preparation phase.

“Mom, where’s the ice cream?” my son Eddie approaches me after having cased the somewhat cramped market out. He’s clearly not intimidated. Sensing my paralysis, he leaves and I hear him talk to the shop keeper behind the counter. I peek over and see the woman show him a refrigerated case. Ice cream, that’s definitely doable. I leave the noodle aisle.

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Priceless Products and Packaging

Posted on May 5, 2013 by sglaser

Priceless Products and Packaging is a new feature on Travel Oops that celebrates interesting products and packaging from around the world. Wandering up and down the aisles of grocery stores or markets is always enlightening when you’re visiting another country. The text included on the packaging and in marketing campaigns often reflects characteristics and values of a nation. Translations are the best because, understandably, sometimes the meaning is inadvertently lost or tweaked slightly.

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Travel Oops: Signs of the Times — “Huh…That’s an Interesting Name”

Posted on April 27, 2013 by sglaser

Tanning a hide in Marrakech © Donar Reiskoffer

“That’s an interesting name” is code for “Wow that’s an odd, quirky or WTF name.” Celebrities, of course, are notorious for giving their kids “unique” names such as Camera, Apple, Rocket, Daisy Boo, Tallulah Belle, Audio Science, Moon Unit…the list goes on. But eventually the kids can use nicknames, (although App is still rather “interesting”) change their names or flip off the paparazzi if the camerapeople ask how the tweens like their given names.

However, when businesses carefully select a name, it’s usually emblazoned on a large sign or spelled out in huge neon letters. And unintended associations and connotations can linger for a long time. Check out the above tanning salon, Tan Your Hide. Yes, it’s a tongue-in-cheek name. Actually tanning your hide is pictured above and to the left, and why wouldn’t you want to do that to yourself in a little cooking capsule?

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Travel Oops: Packing Weapons of Mass Distraction

Posted on April 24, 2013 by sglaser

Phoenix, Arizona, USA. 2011.

In a bulky badass stride, a muscular police officer with a military precision haircut approaches the security scene at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport. He wears a flak jacket while pepper spray, handcuffs and extra clips adorn his gun belt. Clearly, this guy is packing heat.

Moments earlier, a group of TSA agents had clustered around a confiscated item. Redirecting everybody but us, one agent shut down an entire row of security and called in the cop.

Travelers shoot withering looks our way while my husband Kurt and I, along with our kids Eddie and Kasey, stand at the end of the conveyor belt. Returning from Mexico, we need to make our connecting flight to Denver.

Although no one actually informs us, Kurt and I know exactly what is wrong. I look over at Kurt, who rolls his eyes. Then our six-year-old son Eddie asks the all-important question:

“Am I going to get my marshmallow gun back?”

Eddie (left) and his friends armed with their marshmallow guns. © Stephanie Glaser

Months earlier, Kurt had made Eddie a marshmallow gun out of PVC piping after he had seen one at a carnival. You can actually fire marshmallow “bullets” from the toy by blowing them through any of the pipes’ openings. Like a veteran SWAT team member, Eddie assembles the entire thing, which sort of resembles a white sniper gun, in about 29 seconds.

So now we wait at the Phoenix Airport for the marshmallow gun to either be cleared or confiscated for good. Apparently, due to the Transportation Security Administration’s protocol, a professional must inspect the contraband — especially when it’s material that people use to make bombs.

“I don’t know, Bud.” Kurt answers.

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Signs of the Times: Wildlife? Really?

Posted on April 20, 2013 by sglaser

Pikes Peak Parking Lot, Denver International Airport, United States. Often people think of Colorado as an idyllic setting for wildlife. However, usually an airport parking lot is not part of the wildlife landscape. I guess you never know — some bunny or bird of prey with longing in their eyes may approach, prompting you to give them some “drive-thru” McDonald’s morsels.

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Signs of the Times: Beavis and Butt-head, This is for You Guys

Posted on April 6, 2013 by sglaser

Adelaide, Australia. Although I love Asian food, my inner adolescent boy came out strong with this one. I used to drive by this sign daily on my way to work. Kurt, the kids and I ate at A Dong a few times and I highly recommend the restaurant. In fact, I always wished I had taken a photo of the establishment before we left at the end of 2010. However, upon returning to Adelaide last month, I had a mission. While doing this post, I checked to see if there was a translation for A Dong from Vietnamese to English and could not find one. So, that still leaves the original connotation alive.

“I Have a Problem with the Blood of a Woman…”

Posted on April 4, 2013 by sglaser

Barcelona, Spain. 1995

Stationing myself next to Ba-Ba-Reeba’s restroom, I stopped every woman who entered and asked, “Perdon, tiene usted un tampon? TamPONE? Tampax? Playtex? Kotex?”

Just moments earlier while enjoying a beer and tapas at the Barcelona bar with some Americans I had met on a train from Madrid, I discovered the added company of my period. Yikes — my supplies were a few miles away back at a pension off Las Ramblas. I asked my new friend Allie if she had a tampon. Nope.

Back in the bathroom, there was no dispenser in sight, and no one who came in seemed to have any spare tampons or pads. Didn’t anyone carry backups? It was time to act since I didn’t want my only pair of jeans to be ruined. Leaving Ba-Ba-Reeba, I searched the streets near Plaça de Catalunya. Surely, Wal-Mart had invaded Catalunya.

It was siesta time, and the nearby shops and stores were closed while shopkeepers observed the afternoon break. It seemed inevitable. I would have to approach the intimidating women of Iberia on the streets.

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Signs of the Times: “Dumb Ways to Die” – a Twisted (yet fun) Train Safety Campaign in Melbourne

Posted on April 2, 2013 by sglaser

Metro Train Stations, Melbourne, Australia. While waiting for a train at the Flinders Street Station, I noticed a rather interesting piece of art by the bathrooms. A partial skeleton was somewhat incinerated after sticking a fork in a toaster. I didn’t think too much about it other than: “hmmm that’s a bit odd.”

Then a large mural caught my eye. My sister, Suzanne, was checking it out as well. Cute little jellybean characters all stood around proclaiming “I solemnly swear to be safe around trains.” At the bottom of the mural was a series of dashed lines in the shape of a person. It’s an outline that you tell your kid to go stand next to for a photo op.

Upon further inspection, we realized that all the cute jellybeans were enduring horrific deaths — all while smiling in good fun. I believe the metaphor of “train wreck” is fairly appropriate at this ironic morbid moment. Fascinated, we tried to guess the culprits of the killings.

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