Travel Oops — Mad about Mountain Biking

Posted on December 19, 2012 by sglaser

Embracing the active, outdoor lifestyle seemed like a great idea when I first arrived in Colorado for a visit.

However, after a few weeks, while white knuckling it on a mountain bike ride, I started thinking that maybe listening to some John Denver while drinking Coors Light was a better idea.

It’s actually best not to know anything about a mountain bike trail before riding it. Ignorance, while not bliss, is definitely an advantage when it comes to participating in an extreme sport. It’s either ignorance or fearlessness —and — since I am not fearless by nature, at least I was clueless. In fact, I was completely clueless about what I was in for.

Most of the Crest Trail, which runs along the continental divide in Colorado, is considered to be “singletrack,” a dirt path not much wider than the bike. When you’re riding downhill next to a sheer drop off on three inches of trail that goes over rocks and tree roots, it seems more like “tightrope trail” with no net.

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Friday Funny Sign — Open 7 Days Except for Monday Through Sunday

Posted on December 14, 2012 by sglaser

Australia. I passed this not so convenient store just about every day for a year and nothing changed. It was still abandoned and still said, “Open 7 Days.”

Avoid the Oops — The Hangover and Getting Really Drunk on a Plane

Posted on December 13, 2012 by sglaser

The journey has begun. The anticipation is there. It won’t be long before you arrive in an exciting new location or an old favorite. Speaking of arrival, here comes the drink cart. Even better — the alcohol is free!

It’s a perfect time to celebrate, so why not have another and another and maybe another after that? You’re not driving. Plus, your flight is fourteen hours; you have a lot of time to kill. So, it’s tempting to get the party started and to keep drinking.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with celebrating and drinking in moderation on a flight. And perhaps you know what you’re potentially in for, having already experienced hangover hell and feeling like complete crap at one point or another.

But remember, you may not have experienced this while in a confined space where you don’t have quick access to fresh air, toilets or even your own pillow.

Not to mention you may have to endure this state for several more hours with crying kids and grumpy passengers who are over the flight.

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Travel Oops — “Do You Have a Gun, Miss?”

Posted on December 11, 2012 by sglaser

A “temporary” building with two classrooms, P301, on the inside, was a faded green mint color — like saltwater taffy gone stale, having been left in a carnival candy sack too long.

But I had windows, a big white board, carpet and neat tables and chairs lined up perfectly. On high, the air conditioning unit blasted air that could cut any perennial’s life short. Was this real? I didn’t have any of these items in my US classroom.

In the little climate controlled temporary, I felt a certain calm even on the first day as a new exchange teacher. Of course this was mixed with a free-flowing anxiety. I didn’t know a thing about Australian students or Year 8s, for that matter, but really, how hard could it be? Plus, if I totally bombed, I could definitely milk my accent for the first week of school, at least.

Right?

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Friday Funny Sign — Filling Up in More Ways than One in the Outback

Posted on December 7, 2012 by sglaser

Central Australia. The Outback can be a pretty desolate place. A petrol/gas station and road house are literally like an oasis. Definitely a one-stop-shop. This Road House, which did have lodging, was not advocating drinking and driving, I would like to believe, but merely efficiency.

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Travel Oops — Should I add McDonald’s to the Guidebook?

Posted on December 4, 2012 by sglaser

No more creating copy about high-speed railways, long-span suspension bridges, retrofitted freeways or any other engineering miracles. I was going to be a travel writer. For nearly three years, I had worked as an editor in the public affairs office for the College of Engineering at UC Berkeley, and I longed to write about other subjects. I would, however, gladly examine engineering feats along the lines of windmills, dikes and bicycles.

Hired to write insights about Europe — the Netherlands in particular — for the 1996 edition of the Berkeley Guides, a budget Fodor’s travel guide series produced by students at Berkeley, I had found a dream job. Although not a Berkeley student, I was a copywriter and editor.

Plus, I had studied in Leiden, Holland, for a year while in college. Ultimately, I could serve as a cultural anthropologist.

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The Friday Funny Sign — Whoa! A Storage Unit for Hannibal Lecter?

Posted on November 30, 2012 by sglaser

I did a double take BIG Time when I first saw this sign. YIKES. They sell BONES??? And units are available — what might be in the units? Don’t want to know.

Because that would be way too twisted to actually advertise the availability of bones (let alone have a business that sells them), the sign requires closer examination. When you see the sign from the correct angle, it says, We Sell Boxes. However, when you first drive into the commercial site where this storage business is located, that is NOT how the sign reads. Time to choose another font.

Friday Funny Sign — Maybe I Won’t Get a Tummy Tuck

Posted on November 23, 2012 by sglaser

Adelaide, South Australia. While purple and pink are supposed to be soothing colors, this surgery building is anything but reassuring. Of course, it’s abandoned, but nevertheless, the sight inspires your imagination to go “Frankenstein” with an image of rusty saws, twisted mallets and various bolts on an operating table.

“Yes Worries!” — An Encounter with a No-Nonsense Flight Attendant

Posted on November 21, 2012 by sglaser

I actually met the one Down Under resident who doesn’t adhere to “no worries.” She was a flight attendant (I’ll call her Hortense) on our Air New Zealand flight from San Francisco to Auckland in January, 2010.

Instead, her slogan, I believe, was “Yes Worries!” and she adopted this long ago because she secretly and firmly believes all the people around her are inept imbeciles. On the flight, I especially thought she despised her co-workers. They, along with most passengers, were her recurring nightmares.

The other flight attendants could not have been more helpful, accommodating and funny. One of the head flight attendants was a tall, blonde woman who wore bright red lipstick and always smiled — no matter what your question was. “I’m sorry,” She beamed. “We can’t have you up in the aisle just yet. We’re still in the midst of our ascent and not at the proper altitude for walking around.” Huge permasmile.

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The Friday Funny Sign — Let’s go to the Beach — or maybe NOT!

Posted on November 16, 2012 by sglaser

Midcoast, Oregon. If the chilly water along the Oregon coast doesn’t scare you, the signs at the entrances of many of the beaches may. Not only is it great white shark territory, but large logs launch through the waves as well.

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